SasuHina Month 2019
by Katarina-hime
Summary: SasuHina month prompts. Sasuke/Hinata.
1. Living Together

Living Together

"I can't believe you're moving in together." Sakura squealed, her body almost shaking with excitement, rattling the box she was carrying. She stepped in, looking up at the foyer of the house, like she had never been in there before (she had countless times), searching it with new eyes.

Hinata hid her blush by brushing her bangs away, looking down at the ground, holding the front door open for her friend. "I told you, it's not that big of a deal."

"Not a big deal?" Sakura scoffed. "Not a big deal! Hinata!" She dropped the box she was carrying down onto the shoe rug with a loud thud.

Hinata's heart dropped, quickly cataloging what could have been in that particular box and if it was breakable. Sakura had been more than helpful with packing and moving all of her things across town, so she really couldn't complain. Her friend was just… excited.

"It's such a big deal! How could you down play this? You're MOVING IN to Sasuke freaking Uchiha's house!" Sakura's voice stretched thin near the end of her sentence, not taking a breather break.

"Um, yes. I am." Hinata replied quietly, trying to pacify and validate Sakura, while simultaneously trying to tone her down. "But, I already stay here a lot..."

"Yeah, sure." She physically waved her hand around a little, in dismissal. "But, moving in is different. It's permanent. It's," Sakura paused, grabbing onto Hinata's arm causing her to let go of her grip on the door, letting it shut behind them. Sakura's green eyes widened. "Commitment." She whispered the last word with reverence.

The door swung open, knocking Hinata in the back slightly. "Sorry, I was running late. Has Forehead stopped freaking out yet?" Ino strode through the front door, a cup holder with three white coffee cups in her hand.

Without knocking.

Which was normal in Hinata's old apartment, but she was pretty sure that Sasuke himself would have different feelings on that matter entirely.

Living here would be different. Not just for her, but for her friends as well.

"I wouldn't be freaking out so much if Hinata was freaking out more." Sakura argued.

Hinata looked at Ino, lips pulled together in a quiet line, conveying with her eyes only her desperate call for help. Thankfully, Ino had always been basically a mind reader.

"Get moving Forehead. We have a car full of boxes and a cranky Uchiha who gets home at six. Let's get his girl moved in before he gets home." Ino snapped her fingers on her free hand, urging Sakura back to action.

"Are you feeling okay, you look a little stressed?" Ino cocked her head to the side, her long blonde bangs swishing around with the movement.

"No, I'm fine." Hinata nodded, reaching down to pick up the box that Sakura discarded on the ground.

"Are you sure? Not anything you're stressed about?" Ino smirked, raking her fingers through her bangs, looking past Hinata at the entry way mirror on the wall behind her.

"It's not going to be a big deal." Hinata coached herself, more than replied.

"Not a big deal that you have more clothes than a strip mall?" She blinked her blue eyes, waiting for Hinata to reply.

Hinata gulped down her impending fears. "It's just so clothes. He can't care that much."

"He can't care that much?" She scoffed. "The guy likes to label and color code everything."

Hinata almost snorted, letting her nose wrinkle in a little smile. She reached up and moved one of the cardboard flaps to peak in on the contents. "He's not that - particular." She settled on that word, feeling it was the most favorable for Sasuke.

"Particular. You mean, anal."

"No." Hinata frowned.

"I swear the guy thinks his house is a freaking museum. 'Don't touch that.' 'You got finger prints on that.'" Ino narrowed her eyes, lowering her voice, shaking her head like Sasuke.

Hinata decided to ignore the impression entirely. Ino was nosey and grabby. Hinata found her friends quirks endearing, but Sasuke was not so inclined. She couldn't really blame him. They weren't his friends.

"He just doesn't like his stuff bothered."

"Well, you don't think he's going to be bothered by stuffing all these clothes into his house?" Ino asked, narrowing her eyes.

That was the real question, wasn't it. She'd been with Sasuke for awhile. Spent a lot of time with him at his house. But he'd never seen her clothing collection. Had no clue what he was coming home to, after work today.

"No." She breathed, trying to pep herself back up. "Because he doesn't think 'I'm' a bother."

"Well, he fucking better not."

Hinata smiled over to her best friend, before peaking into the box she was holding.

"Pig, you're not even helping!" Sakura stormed back into the house, another box in hand. "You're just staring at yourself in the mirror."

Ino glances away from the mirror, glaring at Sakura. She plucked one of the three coffees from her paper carrier. "Pumpkin spice latte for you Hina." She waited for Hinata to situate the box back down on the floor. "And a nosey bitch latte for you, Forehead."

"Better be a skinny, no whip, nosey bitch latte." Sakura sniffed, also setting down her box to accept the drink.

The girls stood in the entry way for awhile, drinking their coffee, taking it all in.

"So, this is where we're going to have to come hang out with you." Sakura frowned.

"Yeah, and when we wanna have boozy brunch, tight ass Uchiha is going to be hovering over us, making sure we don't drop crumbs or something." Ino lamented dramatically, swishing her pony tail around.

"He's such a buzz kill." Sakura agreed.

Hinata didn't comment.

Especially because she could still distinctly remember their obsession with Sasuke, before he was her boyfriend. Sakura and Ino gushed for hours about the new hottie in Sakura's department. Both girls trying endlessly to get his attention, with dresses, "accidental" meetings in the copy room, their offers of showing him around getting turned down.

He didn't become the grumpy, stick in the mud until he was swept off the market by none other than Hinata herself.

She hadn't even realized that Sasuke was the guy they were talking about. She accidentally ran into him at a lunch meeting with some higher ups, getting sat next to each other at the table. They made small talk near the end.

A couple days later she ran into him on her floor, and he causally asked her to lunch, at this salad bar restaurant a block away.

She thought it was really cute when he over loaded his salad with tomatoes and before she knew it, she said yes to a next lunch.

And another.

And then, suddenly, they were going on real dates.

By the time her friends found out, she really liked him. Felt like she could be serious about him. So she didn't really feel like she could back off, even if they liked him first. She didn't mean any hard feelings towards her friends or anything, she just -

Really really liked him.

He was analytical. Quiet. Observant. Thoughtful. He was really clean, she noticed the first time coming to his place. He was consistently praised at work and put in leadership positions. His work ethic and attention to detail gained him several promotions since she knew him.

Yes, he liked things a certain way.

No, he didn't like loud, messy women.

Who were her friends.

But he made a point to be very respectful of Hinata's friendships. Most of the time.

She heard the door click, but also saw both of her friends stop and turn, like dogs pointing. They might've said they didn't have a crush on him anymore, but Hinata knew better. Not that her friends were ever disrespectful to Hinata, they'd never make a move on him.

But the tabs they kept on her boyfriend were bordering on more than just friendly.

He entered the bedroom, tall, straight backed. His relaxed face turned immediately into a frown upon noticing the other women his his bedroom.

Hinata stood up from the floor and her pile of clothes.

"How's the unpacking going?" He questioned, surveying all of the still unpacked boxes.

He didn't look at her as she hugged him, his eyes still on the partially unpacked piles on the floor as he kissed the top of her head.

"I thought you'd be done by now. We have dinner reservations." He reminded her.

Ino and Sakura looked at each other silently before standing up and taking their leave, saying good bye.

The absence of her friends made her even more nervous. Not because she was afraid of Sasuke or anything like that. She would just now have to face the actual music. Explain. The truth.

"Um, I kind of ran out of space." Hinata's mouth ran dry.

"What? I gave you half the closet. And your own dresser? How could you run out of space?"

She bit her lip watching him glance around the room. He took a step over to her new dresser, opening up the top drawer.

The entire thing was filled with different kinds of underwear sets. Some lacey. Some frilly. Other comfy and cotton. All of them, folded and matched, crammed in. Dozens and dozens of pairs.

Sasuke stared at it blankly, before looking at her. Not questioning, but completely blank. Like he had absolutely no idea what to think.

Without another word, he shut the drawer, moving onto the next one with quick precision. He found it completely filled with night clothes. Each one, meticulously matched and folded as small as possible. The drawer still filled to the brim. There was no possible way to fit another pair of pajamas in there. Even pulling one out would tug out the others around it, which is exactly what Sasuke did.

He plucked out one of them, that was silk, but still more on the tame side. A petal pink, tank top and shorts set.

"I've never seen you wear this." It was almost an accusation.

Like he was mad she never wore it? Well, they had spent the night together countless times before this. But he had never looked in her drawers or her closet before. Plus, she had so many pajamas, there were some in there she never wore.

He set the pair on top of the dresser, shutting the drawer and moving to the next one. Socks. Maybe fifty pairs of socks, all paired, folded and stuffed in. Wool, no shows, fuzzy. All kinds.

"This is absurd."

Hinata wrung her fingers together, biting her lip. This was not going well. She didn't know exactly how springing the news that she was a shopaholic to her boyfriend would go, but -

"I really like clothes." She finally settled

for.

"You wear the same thing every day." Sasuke rebutted. Clearly thrown with his findings.

That wasn't exactly true. She would never wear the same thing every day that's gross. But maybe she settled for a tame, classic outfit for work.

"They always look so cute one everyone on else. I see them on models, or Instagram, and then I order them. I don't have credit card debt or anything like that." She wanted to reassure him. "I love them. But then when I get them..."

How could she explain insecurities to someone like him. A man, first off, who could never understand the intricacies or nuances of being a woman. But a man like him, who was so sure of himself. Confident. Could pull off anything.

"It just never looks the same on me."

"The closet is full too?" He double checked, looking at all the boxes still on the floor of his bedroom.

She nodded.

This isn't how this was supposed to go. Moving in together was supposed to be a happy day. They were taking a major step in their relationship.

And she had been lying to him. Lying might've been a strong word. Having a lot of clothes didn't change her as a person. As the person he was in love with.

But he did like things a certain way. Was very clean.

Maybe this is what would be their incompatibility? She desperately hoped not.

Sasuke walked into the closet, staring at her side. This was one of the first times he seemed off kilter. Bewildered.

"Dresses?" He blinked. "You don't even wear dresses."

"I still like them." Just not on herself.

Sasuke reached up, and grabbed a dress off the hanger. It was simple, black, short with spaghetti straps. "You've worn this?"

She shook her head no. She'd tried it on, when it came in the mail, but it showed too much thigh, was tight on her stomach and her arms felt too big.

"Wear it tonight, then." He held it out to her.

"What?" She blinked, not expecting that response.

He didn't repeat himself.

"I can't. It doesn't look right on me."

"Then get rid of it." Sasuke threw the dress down onto the bed, turning back to the closet.

She understood the logic. Keeping things you don't use or need was frivolous and unnecessary. But... it was so pretty. It would look so cute styled with some squared heels or a jacket.

"But, I like it." She sounded like a toddler.

"Hinata, we are not keeping an entire wardrobe of clothes you are never going to wear."

She knew he was right. He was. Keeping them would be ridiculous. You don't horde clothing you don't need.

She picked up the dress, fingering the material.

But, she really liked it.

Maybe if she tried it on, he'd get why she wanted to keep it. She walked out of the room, into his bathroom. Quickly, she shed her comfy moving clothes and slipped on the black dress, trying to adjust it as flattering on her as possible.

She knew the reason why she didn't want to wear it out. She wasn't a Fashion Nova insta model. She was just normal. She couldn't really pull off this kind of dress in regular life. Maybe Sakura or Ino could.

She was just Hinata.

Sasuke was still in the closet, probably wondering what the hell he had really got himself into, asking her to move in with him. Probably rethinking their entire relationship. Probably forming a way to break it off with her as nicely as possible as to not effect their work life too deeply.

"I'm sorry." She interrupted the silence, feeling sick to her stomach. "I should've got rid of some of this stuff. But, I just liked them so much. And I think their beautiful. I want to be the kind of girl that wears these kinds of clothes, it's just,"

Sasuke had stepped out of the closet as she started trying to explain herself. He watched her with a blank face. She knew he wasn't bored. He was normally like that.

Just right now, it might've been nice for a little reassurance.

"What do you mean you're not a women who can wear that? You're wearing it right now."

"It," she breathed, trying to figure out how to broach her feelings. She looked down at the straight neckline, straightening one of the thread thin straps. "It doesn't look right on me." She settled for.

"Trust me." Sasuke almost interrupted her before she finished. "It looks right on you. Come on. Get your shoes. We're going to be late."

"What?" She gasped.

"The reservation." He reminded. Of course. Even with the mess, he would never be late to anything.

"I can't wear this". She gasped.

Sasuke fixed her with one of his work looks. Usually reserved for interns or if someone interrupted him. No nonsense.

"You can wear it. You can wear all of these things. If you don't, get rid of them."

Logical. And final.

She looked back down at her dress, moving her hand, smoothing down the front, tugging it down a little further on her thigh.

"Are you sure I should wear this to dinner?"

"I insisted." He pressed.

Hinata stopped, looking up from herself to stare at her boyfriend. "Sasuke..." She tried to stop herself from smiling. "Do you like it?"

"Tsk. I'm the one that picked it." He strode towards the door, grabbing her around the waist, his hands lingering on her hips, pushing her out of the room.

Her cheeks heated, blinking up at his chiseled jaw. "So, I can keep them?"

"If you wear them." He replied, his thumb rubbing over her hip bone. "If you wear those pajamas tonight." He glanced over top of her at the silk set still on top of her dresser.

Of course Sasuke wouldn't have picked those items a random. He was methodical and precise, he didn't leave things to happenstance and chance.

Of course he would've grabbed the two things he liked.

"Okay," She felt breathless, thinking about coming back after dinner.

"I'll order another dresser in the morning." He promised her, pushing them closer to the front door.

She felt a little bad. He had special ordered her dresser to match his furniture set.

"Well, you might want to see the shoes too."

Sasuke paused, staring down at her, one eyebrow quirked, not in questioning, more like a disapproving father.

"Well," She tried to smile, going off of her precious momentum. "If you liked the dress and the pajamas, wait till you see the heels."

He kept their eye contract, blinking once before nodding. "Alright. Let's see them."


	2. Falling in love with an Ex

"Okay, I have his backpack, his soccer bag, his jacket and his boots for recess." Hinata listed off each item as she loaded them into the trunk of Sasuke's car.

"He gets out of school at 3:45, if you can't make it on time I can grab him for you." She offered, though there was an accusation laced in her tone.

"I can pick him up." Sasuke glared, slamming the trunk.

She blinked, unfazed. "His soccer practice is at 5. His game on Saturday is at 1. It's his turn to bring snacks, I was planning on coming to watch, so I can bring them if you want."

"I can buy snacks." Sasuke grumbled.

"His bed time is still nine o'clock." She reminded.

"I know my sons bedtime."

"Well, if that's everything." Hinata turned away from him to face their son.

He stood silently between them, face blank, looking off at the Walmart they were parked at. A common meeting point for the ex couple.

"I love you." Hinata grabbed her son's face and kissed his cheek softly. "You can call me anytime okay?" She waited for their son to nod back. "I'll see you on Saturday." She promised, giving him one more kiss.

"Wait," Sasuke stopped her. "Where's his violin?"

Hinata stopped, before turning back to her own car. She blinked a couple of times, looking between their son and her ex-husband.

"Talk to your son about it." She settled on that before leaving their aforementioned son with another wave.

"Sanada?" Sasuke asked, turning to look at the boy.

He blinked over at him apathetically, before turning away from him and getting into his car.

'Brat,' Sasuke rolled his eyes and got in the car himself. He started the engine but didn't put his seatbelt on or shift it into gear. He punched off the radio, slipping the car into silence. He reached up angling his review mirror to show him his pouting son.

Sanada always had black hair and dark eyes. Always had Uchiha coloring. But his whole life, Sasuke would've said that he looked like Hinata. Sanada had his mother's smile, his mother's blush.

He didn't smile or blush anymore. He had a perpetual frown, his eyes narrowed. He was angry at the world.

He looked exactly like Sasuke.

"Where's your violin?" Sasuke settled for.

"I quit." His son replied, staring blankly out the window.

"You what?" Sasuke huffed.

Sanada had been playing the violin since he was three years old. He was amazing. First chair.

"You don't get to quit."

"You don't get to tell me what to do." Sanada snapped.

"I am your father. You don't get to speak to me like-"

"Are you my dad?" Sanada snapped, abruptly. "Cause I only ever see you every other weekend, so it's kind of confusing."

"Is this what this is about? Are you acting out because you miss me? You quit playing violin because you think this will somehow hurt me?"

"You'd have to care about me for me to hurt you." Sanada whispered, quietly, just barely enough to for Sasuke to hear.

"You don't think I care about you?" He asked his son, seriously.

That was blatantly untrue. He loved his son. Loved his since the moment he became his son. The first time he had saw him. He had loved him.

"I know you don't. You don't care about me or mom."

Sasuke had to hand it to his son, he had grown some balls over the last couple of months. Last year he couldn't have imagined his son speaking to him that way.

This year was a little different.

"Look, Sanada, what happened between me and your mother has nothing to do with you." A rehearsed line.

"If you didn't want to have a wife and kids, you should've just left us both alone. You can go off and have a new family with your new girlfriend. Because, I don't want to be apart of it."

"You don't get to pick. I'm your father. Period."

He didn't know how to tell Sanada that he had messed up. That he was sorry. That he didn't mean to have things end up this way.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Stiff. Sanada went straight to his bedroom, leaving Sasuke to cook dinner by himself.

He had never cooked dinner while he was married. Hinata had taken the role of homemaker and mother and done her role perfectly.

But wife, not so much.

Sasuke had bought some frozen meals he could cook on the stove. And some ice cream. The 'this is dads house we can do what we want' guilt was settling in, and if ice cream was what it took to bribe his son into having an 'okay' time than that was that.

He cooked the dinner alone, standing at the stove, rolling up his suit sleeves.

He plated two portions and set them at the table before walking down to his son's new bedroom. He knocked a couple times, speaking through the door.

"Dinner's done."

"I'm not hungry."

Sasuke rolled his neck, taking another deep breath. "I got ice cream for after."

There was some silence on the other side of the door before he heard some rustling around. The door clicked open and Sasuke stepped out of the way, putting his hand out, sending Sanada down the hallway first.

They sat quietly across from each other, both poking at their food. Both used to much better.

"I don't have a girlfriend." Sasuke broke the silence.

It was the truth. He wanted that set straight. But also, maybe that would cool some of his sons animosity.

"So why aren't you and mom back together then?" His son asked honestly.

"Look, Sanada," He sighed. "I know you think you might understand how things are between adults, but you don't."

"I know you had sex with your secretary." His son snapped. With venom.

Sasuke stilled, leaning back against his chair.

That was information he did not want his son knowing. Not something he had ever wanted to talk about with him.

Now he knew. Knew that the whole divorce has been entirely his fault.

He hadn't meant to. He knows everyone says that. He knows it sounds like bullshit. How do you not mean to have sex with someone else?

Things had been tough for awhile. Hinata put motherhood first. Sanada was her priority.

Maybe Sasuke felt neglected. Maybe he hadn't communicated that properly.

Maybe you should't take your secretary, a single women, on a business trip. Maybe you shouldn't drink in a hot tub, alone with them.

He had thought that Hinata would get mad. Of course. But he didn't except her to completely shut down. Completely shut him out. Demand a divorce immediately.

He expected having to cut down to an all male staff. He expected having to go through marriage counseling. He expected to have to sleep in the guest room for a little while.

He didn't except all of his things to be packed that night. He didn't except divorce papers filled out and mailed to his office at the end of that week.

She hadn't even fought for them. For their marriage. For their family. He knew he was the one at fault. He knew that. He wasn't trying to push it off on her. But she gave up on them. Gave up on him. She didn't even try.

"Your mother shouldn't have told you that."

"She didn't!" Sanada defended. "I read her text messages."

"You should't disrespect her privacy like that." Sasuke frowned.

"Like you care about her!"

Sasuke watched tears form in his sons eyes, feeling them drowning his own heart.

"I care about your mother very much, Sanada. People make mistakes."

"If it was a mistake, then make it right!" His son, choked, letting the tears pour down her face. "That's what you and mom taught me. You have to try. Tell her you're sorry!"

Sasuke had made a hardline policy on not wanting Sanada to know any of the details of their divorce. Hinata had agreed. But maybe it was his own guilt, watching his son break down in front of him.

"She doesn't want to hear it Sanada." He shrugged, trying to swallow down his own emotions. "She doesn't love me anymore."

"That's not true." His son shook his head.

"Trust me Sanda,"

"I know you think you know everything but you don't!" Sanada slammed his hands onto the table.

"Calm down," Sasuke put his hand up. He had to step in before his son became hysterical.

"No. I was the one that heard her crying. Telling Aunt Hanabi that she didn't know what to do. Wishing she could make it go away."

Sasuke tightened his jaw, feeling all the guilt creep back in.

He wished that he could make it go away too. Wished that he could've tried harder. Wishing that he didn't give up so easy. That he had told her his problems before the spun out of control. Wishing they were all eating dinner together. Wishing that they were back at their old home. All together. That this had never happened.

"She went on a date last week." Sanada sniffed.

"She's an adult. She can do what ever she wants."

"She told me she had a lot of fun." Sanada snapped. "Then she cried herself to sleep."

He could hear it in his tone. The way his son looked into his eyes. 'It's your fault.'

"Our apartment has thin walls."

Blame. He was the reason that Sanada lived in two different apartments. The reason he didn't have his house anymore. The reason he lost his home. Lost his family.

"She keeps all of the pictures of you in her closet."

"Sanada, stop." Sasuke swallowed, trying to get their dinner back on track.

"She still loves you! Don't you love her?" His son pressed.

"Yes." Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe this wasn't the conversation he should have with his, clearly delicate son.

"Then why won't you try!"

"Sanada, you don't understand-"

"You're right. I don't." Sasuke watched his son stand up from the table, listening to his footsteps down the hallway, heard the door slam.

He leaned his elbow onto the table pinching the bridge of his nose.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to parent without Hinata. Didn't know how he was going to get through any of this.

Knew he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

He let Sanada be for the rest of the night. Left his dinner in the microwave just in case he got hungry.

He made breakfast. Got Sanada to school on time. Went to work, where his secretary was now a twenty-one year old, male temp. Picked Sanada up on time. He didn't reply to the reminder text message from Hinata, around two o'clock, telling him that pick up was at 3:45.

Maybe he didn't have to get mad at her all the time for smothering. Maybe she was just worried about him because she had spent the last good half of her life making Sanada the center of her whole world. Maybe Sasuke hadn't been involved as he should've. Maybe he had been at work too much. Maybe Hinata was just trying to help.

Sasuke stayed and watched Sanada's whole practice. Some parents did. Some didn't. He knew Hinata had.

Sanada seemed to be mostly fine, running around with his friends. He'd been playing soccer almost as long as he'd been playing violin. Sasuke wished he could be like that all the time. Smiling. Playing. Just a normal little kid.

The rest of the day they didn't talk about his mom anymore. Sanada asked to call her that night and Sasuke gave him his cellphone. He spent about ten minutes telling her about his day and saying goodnight.

"Thanks." Sanada whispered quietly before giving the cellphone back.

"Of course." Sasuke replied. He hugged him goodnight, kissing the top of his head.

That night, he laid awake for awhile. Hinata would be at the soccer game tomorrow. What if… what if he did try? What if they sat together? What if they talked about Sanada? What if he didn't snap at her. What if…

He took a breath, sitting at the edge of his bed, resting his head in his hand.

Was he doing this for himself or just for Sanada? Both? He did miss Hinata. He even wished that they could go back to how things were. Even if he had been a little unhappy. His son would be. Hinata would be. They'd have their home.

What if he had just asked her to go to counseling himself? Why had he lashed out and done something to hurt her instead?

They got juice boxes and granola bars. Sasuke got him there fifteen minutes early, already dressed. He carried the boxes of snacks under his arms. She was standing their already, her arms folded, watching the boys warm up. Sanada had started to jog out onto the field, but had spotted his mom and veered off course to give her a hug first.

She was wearing a light coat, her hair down, in jeans and tennis shoes. Her face lit up when Sanada wrapped his arms around her waist. He waved over his shoulder to her as he joined his team in their warm-up.

She was pretty. She'd always been pretty. Nothing crazy, out of this world, but soft, nice to look at. She was sweet. Quiet. Attentive.

Sasuke fell in love with her easily. Without even trying. And maybe that was the problem. He has never had to try, and when things got hard, he hadn't tried to make them better.

Was it too late to try now?

"Hey," he walked up to her, feeling incredibly awkward and almost nervous. "Do you want to sit down? Together?"

She seemed surprised that he even approached her. She watched him, guarded. She didn't reply.

"For Sanada." Maybe Sasuke wasn't above pulling the 'for Sanada' card.

That was also something they needed to do, for Sanada. Were they going to sit separately at important moments for their son? His graduation? His wedding? Surely they could be adults and sit together, in solitary for their child.

She nodded, following her over to the bleachers. Sasuke used the snacks as a buffer between them. Because even though this was his idea, it still felt really weird. Uncomfortable.

"I got the snacks." He mentioned, unnecessarily, gesturing to the card board box defenses.

She nodded, still quiet, keeping her eyes laser focused on the field.

He tried not to feel put out by her cold shoulder.

"How's work?" He asked after a couple quiet minutes.

"It's fine."

She was a secretary now. The irony of that was not lost on him. She had refused spousal support, though his lawyer told him she more than qualified. He wondered if the transition to stay at home mom to full time employee was stressful for her.

"Sanada said your office has a fish tank." He had told him that weeks ago.

He wondered how much time Sanada spent at her office.

She nodded. "He wants one too, now."

Sanada hadn't told him that. Maybe he could buy him one. He could afford it.

Hinata couldn't. The guilt of the situation made Sasuke feel sick. Instead of living in a nice house, taking care of Sanada, she was working as a secretary. Instead of getting driven to private lessons and play dates his son was sitting in some lobby after school. His wife couldn't even buy him a fish tank.

Ex-wife. He reminded himself immediately.

She didn't even speak to him anymore. Wouldn't even look at him.

It didn't used to be like this. They used to be happy. They used to hold hands. They used to sneak kisses when nobody was looking. She lit up his world and he couldn't wait to come home every day to her. And their son.

Why had it gotten all fucked? Why had he personally fucked it?

Sanada played really well. Sasuke tried to stay focused on him instead of Hinata.

"Mom, dad! Did you see my goal!" Sanada ran all the way over to them, jumping up and down. The hour long game doing nothing to tire him out.

"Of course."

"It was really great." Hinata promised him.

"Can I pass out my snacks now?"

"Yeah, here." Sasuke started opening them, pulling through the plastic and ripping open the card board.

"Hey, Uchihas. Long time, no see." Ino Yamanka, the team mom strode right over, her son trailing behind her.

"Hi Ino." Hinata smiled, not correcting her on the name change.

"Will we be having our end of the year party at your guys place again?" She tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Your view is to die for."

Sasuke watched Hinata's face, her smile thinned out, became more cheeks less lips. "I'm afraid not. We've moved."

"Really, where to?"

"I live in the neighbor next door and Sasuke lives down town."

Ino blink for a second, realizing what that actually meant. She looked at Hinata and back to Sasuke, her mouth opening for a second and closing.

"Certainly a change of scenery." Ino smiled.

Sasuke glanced down at Sanada, who's mood shifted immediately. His smile faded, and again, he went from looking like old Hinata to present Sasuke. Miserable.

"Thanks dad." Sanada huffed, taking the snack boxes, shoulders slumped, taking short steps back over to his friends.

Ino excused herself after that, leaving the ex couple, standing awkwardly apart.

Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets, turning to watch his son dole out juice and granola bars. He couldn't keep going on like this. Being miserable. Making his sons life miserable.

He needed direct action.

"Hey, do you want to eat dinner with us tonight?" Sasuke asked her.

Hinata looked over quickly, before glancing back at Sanada.

He knew that this was the most likely way for her to agree to see him. Was with Sanada.

"When?"

"Maybe around five. There's this burger place near my apartment."

She shifted uncomfortably, looking at there son and away, staring across the field to avoid eye contact.

"This isn't like a OJ/Nicole thing." Sasuke smirked, reading her reluctance. "You can say no if you want."

Hinata's eyes snapped to his, widening.

He winced, internally. Maybe making a joke about the infamous murder of an ex wife, after being excluded from a dinner and then finding another guy at her house was poor form.

Instead, Sasuke watched as her pressed her lips together, the edges quirking, her eyes blinking. She thought... he was funny?

"Can you text me the address?"

Sasuke couldn't believe it. He stared at her a moment longer, double checking that she had actually agreed. Or kind of agreed.

"Yeah." He grabbed his phone out quickly, googling it and copy and pasting it to her message. The reminder to pick Sanada up on time that he had ignored.

He could've said 'thank you' or something, at least.

Sasuke walked over to the group of eight year olds, handing Sanada a sweatshirt.

"Were going to have dinner with your mom tonight."

His son, turned, blinking up at him. "What? Really? You and mom?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke watched as his son tried to hide his smile, nodding instead. "Okay, cool."

Sanada sat across from him, next to his mom. He was the one that carried most of the conversation, telling his mom about everything they did at his house. Leaving out the arguments and instead, filling her with stories of Fortnight.

This was it. What Sasuke missed. What kept him awake at night.

She smiled, turning attentively as their son spoke. She brushed his hair back, made sure he ate his broccoli, didn't let him have a refill on his root beer and instead made him drink water. Their son didn't yell at her. Didn't cry. He smiled and laughed and told a story about Inojin tripping during the game and neither of them interrupted to tell him they had seen it.

This is what he had ruined.

Sanada gave his mom an extra long hug, when it was time to say goodbye. She stayed outside of the restaurant, waving goodbye until they pulled out of the parking spot.

"Thanks for dinner, dad." Sanada muttered, waving back to his mom.

Sasuke understood what he really meant.

It was Saturday night, they ate ice cream. They played video games. Sanada went to be well past nine o'clock.

He called Hinata the next day. "I don't mind bringing him to your place. We don't have to meet in between."

She was quiet, on the line for a second. "Okay."

Hinata had rented a place, in a neighborhood he knew she couldn't really afford, so Sanada stayed in the same school. Which is why Sasuke agreed to pay a higher child support rate, especially after she turned down the spousal one.

Driving down some of the familiar roads to their old house brought up some of the same feelings. Of the things he missed.

She came out, greeting their son at the car. She grabbed his backpack and his soccer bag, Sasuke grabbed the boots, following her up to the apartment.

Sanada hugged Sasuke at the door, taking his boots back. "Can we play online together tonight?"

"If it's okay with your mom."

She nodded. "That's fine. After your spelling list practice, though."

"Okay! Love you dad."

Sasuke grabbed Hinata's sweater sleeve, reaching out to shut the door behind Sanada, trapping her outside with him. He let go of her quickly. "I want to go to counseling."

Hinata stopped, gaping up at him.

She was just as pretty as he remembered her. The curve of her lips, her small chin, little, sloped nose. Her eyes finally looking into his.

"For Sanada?" She questioned.

A lot of divorced parents saw someone to help with co-parenting. And maybe they should in the future.

But,

"No. A marriage counselor." It felt like a confession to a priest.

He needed his penance. Needed to be able to lift his sin from him.

"We aren't married." She looked away from him.

Sasuke reached out and grabbed her arm, her whole body flinching away from him. Like he was burning her. "I wish we were."

"Sasuke," Her voice had an edge, warning him away.

"I mean it. I wish this didn't go like this. I wish that it was different. But you didn't even let me try, Hinata. You didn't let me try to fix it."

"Fix what? You clearly didn't want to be with me. I gave you what you wanted." Her blinked quickly, trying to keep her eyes from getting misty

"This isn't what I want." Sasuke pressed.

Hinata's lips trembled, her chin dented and she tried to fold her lips back together, back in. "I don't think-"

"Just try." That's what Sanada had asked him to do. "I'll set up the whole thing. The only thing you have to do is come."

He watched her, trying to pull away from him. Refusing to look at him. Her eyes darted around, rapidly.

"Okay."

Sasuke let go of her, leaning back, more surprised that he thought he would be.

"Okay." He agreed.

She went inside without another word.

He called first thing Monday morning. A place on her side of town. For the next Sunday. He knew her sister could watch Sanada then, and she wouldn't miss out on any work or need to take time off.

He texted her the details as soon as he hung up,

She left him on read.

Sanada called him a couple times that week. They played Fortnight again that Friday.

"Okay, so, what are you both trying to get out of these sessions?"

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. Hinata didn't answer.

"To save your marriage?" The therapist supplied.

"We're divorced." She corrected, quietly.

The therapist looked at them blankly, wondering what the fuck this hour would bring and if he was getting paid enough for it.

Sasuke too a deep breath through his nose. "I would like to fix things." His words felt choppy, and unrehearsed.

"Well," the therapist cleared his throat. "It takes both of you to do that. People can heal anything as long as they have a common goal." He looked at both of them, expectantly.

"He slept with someone else." Was Hinata's only reply.

The therapist blinked at them for a moment before writing something down on his clipboard. "While you were still married?"

"Yes." She clipped.

Sasuke leaned forward, rubbing down the bridge of his nose.

"And you're already divorced?"

"Yes for a couple weeks now."

Sasuke watched her talking about of the corner of his eye.

"So, what are you two trying to get out of this. Co-parenting?"

"I want to get back together."

"Okay," the therapist glanced between them. "and it that also what you want, Hinata?

"I don't think that's the best idea." She replied thinly.

The therapist nodded, looking back at Sasuke with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, but this doesn't usually work out if-"

"Can you just try?" Sasuke cut him off, speaking directly to her.

She glanced over him, startled by the intensity of his voice.

"You didn't give me a chance to try and fix anything. You gave up."

"Gave up?" She scoffed. "You slept with your secretary."

"And you sent me filled out divorce papers that Friday, Hinata! Don't pretend like there wasn't other problems."

"If you knew their was problems why wouldn't you try then?" She snapped back.

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what I was doing. I fucked up. Please, just let me try and make it better. Just try and see if we can work through it. Please." He had never begged someone before. He was Sasuke fucking Uchiha he had never begged for anything in his entire life.

He was begging, now.

The therapist looked back and forth between them, wildly, like he had just lost control of a runaway horse.

Hinata looked past him, at the wall, where some certificates were framed. Her face, not as stone cold as usual, sad. Tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"You don't have to say it right now. You don't have to forgive me. Just-" he paused, trying to get what he really needed straight. "Will you just try. Will you come back next week?"

She grabbed a tissue box beside her, holding the white paper close, dabbing at the corner of her eye and her nose lightly before holding it up into a square.

"Hinata, please."

She nodded, silently, still not looking at him.

He tried not to stress the rest of the week. She had said she would come again. Hinata wasn't a liar. He knew her. If she said she would come then she would.

It didn't make him feel any better at night. Sanada called him on Wednesday, asked if they could play Fortnight again because he got an A on his spelling test. Before he hung up, he asked Sanada if he could talk to his mom real quick.

"Yes?"

She didn't sound mad.

"Hey, I was just double checking, that you were still planning on coming. On Sunday." He closed his eyes, resting his fist on his forehead, wishing that he could punch the stupid out of himself.

"I told you I would."

He took a breath, not realizing how much relief that gave him.

"Yeah, you did. Good. Yeah, I'll see you then, then?"

"Goodnight, Sasuke."

He dropped the phone onto the bed, rubbing down his face.

Therapy, though, was not what he thought it was going to be. It was not the bandaid. The cure all. In fact, it felt like it was making everything worse. It felt like he was paying $200 an hour to argue and make her cry.

The therapist told him that for Hinata to forgive him, he needed to give her every single detail of the infidelity that transpired. He didn't want to. It felt like just reopening old wounds, and he wanted to get over it. Move on. So they could be together. He didn't want to focus on the reason they weren't.

"I don't know why you asked me to come if you're not even going to participate." She was getting frustrated.

So he did. He explained, in detail, every single thing leading up to having sex with another women. Putting it into words though, made it even more clear for himself.

It had started off rather benign, when Sasuke noticed that he was feeling put out by their relationship. It was making him grumpier at work. His secretary had asked.

He ended up telling her. That he felt his wife cared about everything but him. He started to confide in her, about his marriage.

He didn't realize then, what he was doing. He just thought he was venting.

She used that as wedge to get closer to him. He never really liked her like that. He made sure to tell Hinata that. He didn't think she was prettier than his wife. He wasn't more attractive than her. She was just someone who gave him attention, when he wasn't getting any.

His meeting out of town had been really stressful. They had decided to unwind, at the hot tub. With some drinks.

He hadn't planned it. He wasn't pinning after her. He woke up the next morning, bumped his flight up, came home and confessed everything, immediately.

He wasn't keeping a secret girlfriend. He wasn't trying to be with someone else. He had fucked up.

"It feels like you're making this my fault. That I was too busy, taking care of our son, and our house. I cooked everything, cleaned everything, made everything nice for us. Where were you? If you felt so neglected, where were you? Not trying to be with me. You were venting to your secretary about how much of a bitch I was!"

He made Hinata cry in almost every single appointment.

"I think my therapist is trying to sabotage me." Sasuke confessed, racking his weights.

Naruto stood above him, leaning against the metal, having just pretended to be his spotter.

"You're already divorced. How bad can it really be?" Naruto shrugged.

"She cries every time."

"That's a good thing, don't you think?"

Sasuke sat up to better glare at his friend.

"I mean, if she's crying she still cares." Naruto defended, trying not to sound heartless.

Maybe the idiot had a point. She agreed to come every week. She participated in their sessions. They texted each other back now. They sat through Sanada's soccer practices together, at least the ones they could both attend.

A part of what the therapist also suggested was Sasuke telling Hinata where he was at, and who he was with, at all times, to build back trust.

"That's seems, excessive." Hinata frowned.

Sasuke thought so as well. But he had already jumped, he wasn't dipping in his toe, he was all in.

His texts were pretty simple. Just got to work. Went out for coffee. At a meeting. Going out to lunch. Eating dinner at home. Meeting Naruto for drinks. At the gym.

If she was at work, she didn't read them right away. Sometimes, she didn't answer. Other times she sent back a 'have fun', which felt promising. But then that felt pathetic.

It was hard, sometimes, putting so much effort it when it felt like nothing was happening. Like grinding gears.

It was a just a regular Tuesday, when he sent her his lunch plans for the day.

'Actually, can you meet me for lunch?'

He almost dropped his whole cellphone. Yeah, of ducking course he would meet her for lunch. And she was reaching out to him? This was like his dream come true.

'I only have thirty minutes. So can we meet near me? Sorry for the inconvenience.'

She only had thirty minutes? That wasn't even enough time to sit and order something.

'Of course. I'll bring you something.'

"I'm going out for lunch." Sasuke informed his male secretary.

"Um, but, Mr. Uchiha, you have-"

"Cancel it." Sasuke waltzed back into his office.

He knew her favorite food. From a sandwich shop that they used to go to together. They had these cinnamon rolls there too. As big as a dinner plate. He ordered it all to go and texted her that they could eat in his car.

She looked really pretty. She was wearing khakis and a sweater.

"Hey,"

"Hi." She smiled, settling into his passenger seat.

She looks pretty, but he's not sure how to tell her that without sounding insincere or like he's pandering.

"New sweater?" He asks instead.

She blinks, looking down at the material. "Mmhmm." She nods.

"I like it."

There's a deep satisfaction that blooms within him when he sees the apples of her cheek warm. She looks back down, and blinks, pretending like she is unaffected. That's fine.

"Here," he hands her the containers for lunch.

She looked down at them, blinking owlishly. "Wow, thank you. You didn't have to do so much."

He shrugs her off quickly. It's just lunch. In what world is this so much?

"So, I had a meeting with Sanada's teacher this morning." Hinata got straight to business.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

"His grades are slipping. Nothing too, too bad yet. Mostly B's, a C, but he's failing his orchestra class."

Failing? Sanada was too young to be cutting classes. It was a private school, single room grades. Hard to get lost in the shuffled. He had to be refusing to participate to fail his class.

His violin. He was still refusing to play his violin.

"I'll talk to him." Sasuke promised.

"No, it's okay." She shook her head. "I just wanted to tell you. Just so you're caught up, with everything that's going on."

"I'll talk to him." He repeated.

It was his fault anyways.

"Can I pick him up after school? I know it's not my weekend. I'll bring him straight to your place."

She looked out the windshield of the car, to avoid looking at him. He hadn't been the most helpful dad when they were married. There relationship didn't feel like it was getting any better either. He was basically just paying someone to facilitate arguments between them.

But, he was trying. He really was. And he knew she was at least trying a little too.

It was more than their relationship though. Yes, he wanted reconciliation. But that wasn't promised. Wasn't sure. Being Sanada's father though, was unconditional. He had some things to work on with that too.

"Okay," She breathed. "I don't get done at work until five though. If that's ok-"

"Of course." He promised.

She nodded, taking a bite of her food. Their car lapsing into an awkward silence. Neither one of them was very chatty. Their new awkward dynamic wasn't very helpful to the situation either. Their previous relationship crushing them in old expectations.

"So," Sasuke cleared his throat, unfamiliar with making small talk. "Do you like your job?"

Hinata shrugged her shoulders a little. "It's fine. Kind of boring."

Boring. He nodded a little.

"It's not all bad though. A little mundane, but - it's something." She continued on.

Sasuke actually liked his job. He was good at it. He devoted most of his time to it. Which had probably exacerbated all of their problems. Realistically, he knew he was going to have to scale back at his work if he was going to make their relationship work long term. Perhaps his work ethic wasn't something to be emulated but...

"What's your dream job?" Sasuke asked.

Maybe he should've known that about her. He had been married to her after all. She didn't seem angered by the question though.

She just shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't thought about it in awhile." She looked over at him, her face a little pinched in amusement, almost smiling. "Not being a secretary though."

"Maybe we should figure that out." He tried to say it as nonchalantly as possible.

Her eyes widened though, pulling back. "I don't think I'd ever quit this job." She shut him down quickly. "It's mostly during Sanada's school hours, and pays enough."

He hid his frown by taking a bite of his food. She shouldn't have to work all day for someone else just to worry about paying her rent. She should be able to do what she wants. Another reminder that the situation was totally his fault.

He said good bye to her a couple minutes after.

Sanada looked shocked to see him at school. "What's wrong, did something happen to mom?"

"No. Mom's fine. I'm just picking you up for her."

Sasuke took them to go get ice cream, one scoop only in a vain attempt to not ruin his dinner completely.

"So I had lunch with your mom today." Sasuke started.

"Hn?" His son blinked with a mouth full of cake batter ice cream.

"We had a talk. About your grades."

Sanada's dark eyes widened before looking down at the ground, quickly.

"Look, I'm not here to be the... disapproving dad, or whatever. I just..." How did Hinata parent so well? How did she have heart to hearts? How did she connect so well with their son? "Look, I know that I haven't been the best role model, for not giving up. Okay? I know it looks like I quit. And I know that hurt you really bad, Sanada. I'm sorry that you had to move to a different place, and that I moved out. That was really hard on you, and I didn't think about how my actions would hurt you. I'm sorry."

Tears pooled into the corner of his sons eyes and Sasuke quickly jumped up from the table, grabbing Sanada and walking them out to his car. He gave him a hug before he got him in the passenger seat, handing his ice cream back.

"I know that you're still mad at me. But that doesn't mean you can just quit your orchestra class. Your school has a music requirement. I understand if you don't want to play the violin anymore."

Sanada looked up at him in surprise. His father had always been particularly insistent on the instrument.

"I promise. Whatever instrument you want. Even if we have to switch you out of orchestra. Brass instruments. Piano. Drums. Whatever you want. But you can't just fail your classes."

Sanada nodded. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"No. I'm sorry, Sanada." Sasuke grabbed his son's shoulder. "I really, really am. I'm sorry that I messed up our family. I don't think your mom would want me to tell you this, but- I'm trying to fix what happened."

"You're fixing it? Are we going to move back to our old house?" His son asked quickly.

"No. Our old house got sold, to a different family. But, your mom and I are, seeing someone." How to explain that to a kid? "Someone that helps moms and dads work out there problems. Nothings for sure, were aren't back together right now. I just wanted to tell you, that I messed up. But I'm trying to fix it, okay? We can't just give up. We can't quit. So tell me which instrument that you want, and I'll have it ordered tomorrow."

Sanada reached over to hug him and Sasuke met him halfway, holding his son against his chest, feeling the middle console crush into his abdomen. "Thanks Dad."

Sasuke pulled up to Hinata's apartment early and both Uchiha boys sat in the car, talking about his classes for awhile, and his soccer team.

"That's mom." Sanada pointed quickly to the car pulling up to the front of the building.

He cut the engine and got out, grabbing Sanada's backpack for him. They walked towards the entrance, but both of the boys paused when they noticed that Hinata had not exited her vehicle.

"What's she doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, moms just probably stressed again." Sanada shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked as the walked closer to her parked car.

"I don't know. Mom just gets like that sometimes. Sitting in the car or in her room. I asked her what's wrong and she said nothing. So I read her text messages-"

"Sanada." Sasuke scolded, glaring down at his son.

"Oh, uh sorry." He laughed a little nervously. "She just told Auntie that she was having a hard time adjusting or something? I don't know."

Hinata was hunched a little over in her seat, leaning towards the steering wheel, her fingers rubbing a spot around her eyes. She did looked stressed. And sad. Sasuke frowned, tapping the hood of her car lightly.

She startled, jumping, looking up quickly. She grabbed her purse, exiting the car a little frazzled. "Sorry, I didn't see you."

"It's fine. We were just walking in." Sasuke promised her.

"Hey mom." Sanada beamed grabbing her hand and swinging it around as the walked to the entrance. "How was work?"

"Oh, it was fine. I had a good day. How was yours?" She asked, smiling now.

"Pretty good. Dad took me to get ice cream."

Hinata looked over, almost perturbed. Treats weren't exactly discussing grades. Well, he had but it didn't sound too convincing.

He shrugged a little.

"Thanks for picking him up. Hope you didn't have to skip out on too much work." Hinata smiled at the door of her apartment.

Sasuke smirked. "I'm the boss. I can leave whenever I want." Which would've sounded sweet if not for the fact that he had spent the majority of their marriage working late, strictly because he himself chose to do so.

"Well, I'll see you this weekend, bud."

"Wait. Mom, can dad come tune my violin?"

Both Sasuke and Hinata blinked down at their son in surprise. Sanada had made no mention to him during their conversation that he was open to playing the violin again.

"Um, yes, of course." Hinata recovered first, unlocking the front door and showing both boys in.

Her apartment was much smaller than his. But warmer. Homier. She had knit blankets and pictures of her and Sanada on the walls. It smelled like vanilla candles and faint cleaning products. It reminded him of their old house.

Just smaller and without him.

"My rooms over here." Sanada lead him to his bedroom.

"Why do you sleep with a stuffed animal of a man?" Sasuke asked, almost like he didn't want to know.

"Dad! It's diamond Steve." Sanada giggled.

"Minecraft." Hinata supplied, smiling at him while she continued down the hall. "I'm just going to get changed really quick." She left them with that.

Sanada crawled underneath his twin bed, messing around with some toys he had stuffed under there, before pulling out a black violin case.

It's small for him. Obviously, it's for an eight year old. But he cradled it gently in his hands, taking the short bow, resting the too small rest against his chin. The familiar feeling of the violin. This had been his own, when he was sons size. He tuned it as best as he knew how, he had been pretty rusty himself.

He used to sit up with Sanada for hours when he was first learning how to play. Teaching how to hold everything. Teaching him the finger placements. The draw.

When had he stopped doing that?

"Will you help me go through my scales. I might've forgot some stuff."

"Of course." Sasuke promised him.

He sat with Sanada for longer than he though. Easily over an hour, maybe two. It was nice though. To actually bond with his son. Not over video games or ice cream. Something that they used to do together. Something that he didn't even know he missed.

"Hey boys, it sounds great in here." Hinata leaned into the room.

Her hair had been tied up into a bun, her khakis and sweater changed for a baggy long sleeve and some leggings. She looked decidedly less stressed than when she first pulled up.

"But don't forget, orchestra is not your only class that you have homework for." She reminded, gently.

"Okay, okay." Sanada promised, his moms, smiling. "I'll put it away."

Sasuke helped him put it away, this time Sanada placed it in his closet. "Hey, can you help me with my spelling list?"

"Sanada, your dad is probably busy. He left work early to come pick you up. So he probably has to get back to work. Say thank you for helping with the violin."

"Uh," Sasuke shut his mouth, looking between Hinata and his son. He walked out of his sons bedroom, grabbing onto Hinata's arm lightly. "I actually don't mind staying. If it's okay with you, that is." He whispered.

He hadn't wanted to speak over authority in her own house. But he did want to stay. As long as she would let him.

He looked uncertain, pressing her lips together, before nodding her head. "Okay," She matched his whisper. Her eyes moved down, looking at his hand around her wrist.

He let go quickly, not wanting to make her upset.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?"

He sat at her small little table, his suit coat off, sleeves rolled up. She stood at the stove, moving between cutting boards, pots and pans, occasionally commenting on Sanada's work. The spelling list was easy enough. Sanada was smart. Smart for his age. Always had been. Which was why his drop in grades was so startling.

And, Sasuke thought, with purpose. Sanada quickly memorized the spelling pattern of this particular list and was quickly acing practice tests.

His math sheets were similarly done and dealt with.

"I just have to do fifteen minutes of reading now." Sanada put all of his papers in his folders, his pencils in the case. "Do I have time to do it before dinner?"

Hinata glanced down at the cooking food before nodding. "Yep. I'll set the timer for you."

Sanada smiled, carrying his bag back to his bedroom.

"Does he read in there?" Sasuke asked, looking down the hall where his son went.

"Yeah. Usually." She nodded.

She turned back to her the stove, letting the room blanket in awkward silence. He sat there, staring at her back, watching her cook. He missed her. He saw her for lunch and he still missed her.

He missed her all the time.

"Rough day?"

He saw her in the car.

Her shoulders drew together before she forcibly shrugged them.

"Was it work?" He probed.

"No." She replied. Her voice clipped with finality. The tense pull of her muscles. She seemed like she was done with the topic.

She turned the burners onto simmer, brushed her bangs over and turned around. The chair made a squeak, scooting back for her to sit right across from him. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ears, her fingers tangling together in front of her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, unwilling to wait for whatever she was doing.

"I," She bit her lip. "I really liked having lunch with you."

Sasuke blinked. She sounded like she was confessing a deep, terrible secret. She liked spending time with him again? That was great? Right?

She didn't look like she was glad, or anything like that. She looked sad again. Her opal eyes blinked, her eyelashes batting, not in a coy way. Like she was trying to keep them clear. Her lips almost in a pout. She looked sad.

"I liked having lunch with you too." Maybe that was the wrong thing to say to her. But it was the truth.

She chewed at her lip, her face twisting into a grimace.

He could feel his heart thudding into his chest. He rubbed his palm on the cloth of his pant legs. This conversation felt important. More important than their therapy sessions. She was trying to tell him something. He was smart. He ran a company. He could figure out what his wife needed from him.

... ex-wife.

"You know, I can have lunch out of the office any time I want."

She still looked sad. Uneasy. Undecided.

"Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow?"

Light eyes against black, both begging each other for something they weren't sure was there.

"Okay."

Dinner with Hinata and his son was really nice. So was having lunch with Hinata. Especially when they had it the next day. And the day after that.

"But you can't bring me a cinnamon roll every day." She giggled wrinkling up her nose. "I'm not going to fit into my sweaters anymore."

"I think they fit just right." Sasuke teased, glancing over at her from his side of the car.

Hinata's cheeks flushed but she didn't comment on the come on.

Even if she avoided out right flirting with him, he really enjoyed spending time with her. Getting to just be with her. Trying to gain some of their previous spark back. By just... being together.

She was trusting him with more and more dad things. Sometimes asking him to pick up Sanada on days not usually his. He even ate dinner at their house on the odd night.

Slowly but surely, he was weaving his way back into their lives.

He was berating his assistant when he got a call from her.

"Hey," he huffed, slamming the door to his office.

"Bad time?"

"Looking for an new assistant. Know anyone?" He joked, slumping back onto his desk.

"I'm afraid not." He could hear her smile.

"How are you?" He asked, taking a deep breath.

"I'm fine. Did you get the email about Sanada's soccer team?"

"Yes. I was on the email list." He reminded her, gently this time. "And you forwarded it to me as well." His voice quirked. Teasing her.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. But yes. I read it. Both times."

Sanada's team had made it to the state championship. But it was an out of town tournament. Did she need some help paying for it? He would more than gladly pay for their hotel room.

"I was wondering if maybe you would want to go?"

Sasuke frowned. "Do you not want to go? Can you not take time off work?"

He knew that she would never miss one of his games, let alone one as important as that.

"No. I can. I just thought, maybe, we can go. Together."

Sasuke blinked for a second. Had she really just asked him what he think she asked him. They could go, together? Like a family.

"If you're busy or if you don't want to-" she fumbled quickly, after he didn't reply.

"I would love to go." He cut her off, not letting her finish the sentence.

"Okay."

She sounded scared again. She was reaching out. She was doing so much. He knew she must still be scared, worried about rekindling with him. He had hurt her. Betrayed her. On an unthinkable level. No amount of therapy or lunches could ever change what he did.

But if she was willing to open her self up to him again, Sasuke would never take that for granted.

Not a second time. Not ever.

Sasuke cleared his throat, "The teams hotel number was in the email. I can call and book our reservation."

"That would be really nice." She breathed, quietly. "Only if you have the time. I'm sure you're busy, with the ineptitude of your assistant and all."

He smiled, giving her a little laugh. "I'll manage. Let me know if you're ever looking for a new job. I'm sure I could use you're expertise."

He her heard give him a little cough of a laugh. "One thing at a time, Sasuke."

He liked the way she said his name. When she wasn't angry at him. Or sad.

"Alright." He sniffed. "But just remember, I'd give you longer than a half hour lunch."

They drove together. They took his car. It was a little bigger, and nicer and that way he could pay for gas. They listen to music and let Sanada tell them all about his day. The drive wasn't too long, and they got their in plenty of time to unload their small amount of luggage.

They had dinner and took a walk at a nearby park. They made it back to the hotel room for Sanada to get some of his weekend homework done.

Hinata sat on one of the beds, watching Sanada play his violin as Sasuke critiqued and praised him as needed.

"You should play for us sometime, dad." Sanada said, putting his instrument back in the case. "Mom said you're amazing."

Sasuke looked back at Hinata and her pink cheeks.

"Whenever you want." He ruffled his sons hair.

They decided to go to bed early. Sanada had big games that coming weekend and needed his rest. They got ready, all of them taking turns using the one bathroom.

Hinata and Sanada tucked themselves into one of the Queen beds, and Sasuke laid in the others.

That's how Sasuke expected it to be. His relationship was going better than he had ever thought, but they were still at a just friends stage.

He laid down, listening to the quiet breathing in the room, staring at the ceiling. He wasn't quiet as used to going to be that early, but he didn't mind just laying there for awhile.

What surprised him though, was the creek of the bed. Hinata getting up. Maybe she just needed to grab something or go to the bathroom. He watched her outline in the dark, disbelieving his eyes until he felt the dip in the springs, her knee on his bed. She grabbed the edge of his blanket in her hand.

"Can I?"

Sasuke scoffed over, giving her enough room to get into his bed.

He didn't remember the last time he laid next to him. Before he left on his last trip. He hadn't held her. Didn't touch her. He took it for granted. He couldn't even recall it in his memory. He had no clue that it would be the last time. That he would miss it that much.

But just having there right next to time was enough.

But apparently not for her.

Her fingers grabbed onto his bicep, pulling him closer to her. His arms opened quickly, pulling her into his chest. Her head fit gently on to his shoulder, her nose rubbing against her collar bone. His hand rubbed across her arm, the other pressing down at she back, holding her close against him.

He felt the wet tears before he heard her quiet, muffled sob. "Sasuke-"

"It's okay." He promised.

"I love you."

He felt like weighted chains had just broke, freeing his soul. She loved him. She still loved him.

He swallowed, his throat feeling too tight. He finally felt all of her fears. Her tension. Her worry and misgivings.

"I love you too." He promised. "I'm sorry. For everything. I love you."


	3. Historical Romance

"It will not be a popular choice." Itachi cautioned him.

Sasuke stood up top the staircase, staring down at the dancing guests.

He should've listened. His brother was smarter. Smart enough to have abdicated the throne, throwing Sasuke into the line of succession.

He had never been raised for the position. Hadn't needed to think about his wife becoming anything more than his wife.

He didn't want to politicize it. He wanted to have a wife he loved.

"I've never cared much about popularity." Sasuke smirked up to him, before turning, decending the stairs. The hop in his step making his chest tassels swish.

He walked with purpose. He knew exactly where he was going.

She stood off the to side. Alone. His brother had been right, she wasn't popular. But they didn't know her like he did. Didn't know how funny and smart she was. Didn't know how sweet and kind and thoughtful she was. So what if she was shy?

He loved her.

"Hinata,"

She looked down at the floor, making him smirk, almost laughing.

"Dance with me." It wasn't a question.

She curtsied, almost reluctantly, putting her hand in his.

He knew everyone was watching him. They always did. Hinata on the other hand, wasn't so used to that. Her eyes darted around from dancing pairs to gawking women. She looked scared, like she wanted to slink away from him.

"They're jealous of you." Sasuke informed her.

He watched her swallow, almost shaking her head. "I am a princess among many."

Sasuke shook his head, smiling. "No. Not even close."

He spun her around as the music dipped, pulling her back into him.

"I'm going to make you the Tsarina."

Her feet stopped, dead in the middle of the dance.

Her eyes searching his for a joke. Jest. Her head almost moving along with her eyes, shaking. "What?" She whispered.

He grabbed her face, gently, his white gloves against her white skin. He kissed her. Kissed her as everyone stared. He wanted them to know. Wanted them to know who he had picked.

.

He had cornered her in the library.

"Now you're just acting coy." He teased.

He knew she was upset though. Even for her, she wasn't playing.

"Your father said no, Sasuke." She tried to turn away from him. Tried to burry her face into the book.

He grabbed it out of her hands. "I don't care about that."

"You should."

"I don't." He pressed.

She quieted, because how do you argue that logic? She wasn't one for arguments anyways.

"Your father wants you to marry-"

"I'm not marrying her." Sasuke snapped. "I'm marrying you."

She breathed, staring down at the ground.

He wanted to know what she was thinking.

"I'm Lutheran." She finally looked up at his eyes. Her eyes ones settled on his. Defiant.

Sasuke scoffed. "Are you kidding me? That's the problem?"

She reached her had out for her book. Sasuke let it slap into her hand.

"Okay, Orthodox isn't that bad!" He huffed, watching her turn on her heels.

.

"Let me get this straight," Hanabi snorted, laughing. "You're paying me to convince my sister that Lutheran and Russian Orthodox are basically the same?" She dissolved into laughter.

"I have a list." Sasuke grumbled. "Stick to the key points please."

The younger girl had resolved to tears, her laughter bordering on hysterical. "This is rich."

"If she finds out that I-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, mums the word." Hanabi waved him off, snatching away the piece of paper, turning away.

"Hey, wait." Sasuke called her back.

She turned around to look at him, expectantly. She was different than Hinata. She was loud, pushy. Annoying

Sasuke put his hands on his hips, preparing for another onslaught of teasing. "Can you… tell me something about Hinata?"

Instead of more laughter, Hanabi eyed him for a moment, like this was the first time she was truly seeing him. She licked her lips for a moment, glancing down the hallway to make sure they were truly alone.

"Our mother used to call her Sunny."

Her mother. He knew that she was dead. Had died a long time ago. She must've liked that name. Must've missed her mother.

"Thank you." He smiled at the younger girl, walking back down the hallway.

.

"If Hinata converts to Orthodox, will you finally give me your blessing?"

Sasuke's father sat across from him at a small table. His father's room was large but Fukagu only used a small portion of it. The table in the corner, nearest his bed was an eating table, a work desk, and a spot for leisure.

His father was not dressed in the finery of a King, instead clothed in a bath robe, holding a steaming cup of tea, his table stacked with books and a jar of honey.

He was sick. Again.

His father took in a long deep breath, exhaling slowly. "This topic exhausts me." His voice was gravely, wet with a cough.

"It wouldn't have to be so drawn out if you could match my terms." Sasuke pointed out, leaning against the window, ideally twirling the fringe of the drapes.

"Your German Princess? Do you ever tire?"

"Not about her."

His father rubbed his forehead, perhaps another headache.

"We have talked about this enough."

"I disagree." Sasuke didn't care that his father was sick. He was always sick now days. Hinata had already turned down one proposal, one that her grandmother, the Queen of England, had blessed herself.

He knew Hinata did it for him. Knew it like he knew nothing else. He was running out of time. She was already nearing her twenty-third birthday. A normal age for a peasant woman, but to be unclaimed as royalty was unheard of.

He needed his father's blessing and he needed it now.

"If she becomes Orthodox, I see no other problem." Sasuke pressed.

"She doesn't even speak Russian." Fugaku snapped.

"I speak German." Sasuke shrugged.

"Sasuke," His father turned to glare at him. "You underestimate the people. They won't like her. She isn't one of us."

"The people care if they have food, and water. Medicine. Jobs." He breathed through his nose, trying to stay level headed. "I love her. I won't marry anyone else."

Fugaku stared at his song for a long moment, taking a sip of tea, surpassing a soft cough, setting it back down on the table.

"Go, do what you will then."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Do you mean it? Truly?"

"Yes. Now get out."

He was already headed to the door, pretending that how fast he was walking didn't count as running. He almost hit his mother with the weight of the door.

"What are you doing?" She frowned, moving out of his way. "Where are you going?"

Sasuke didn't slow down, instead turned around, still walking backwards. "I'm calling for Hinata."

"What?" Her eyes bulged out of her head.

Usually he'd be annoyed. He was sick and tired of everyone acting like Hinata was some sort of pariah just because she was a little quiet.

But he couldn't be mad. Not right now. Not when he felt so light, and free. Happy.

"Fugaku!" He could hear her as he turned back around, jogging down the hall.

.

"You made your fiancé ride the train?" Itachi 'tsk'ed.

Sasuke glanced to the side, glaring. "It was the fasted way for her to get here.

"You picked your convenience over hers?"

"What was I supposed to do? Ride by horse to Warsaw myself and bring her here?" Sasuke huffed.

It was regrettable that Hinata had to take the train from Warsaw to Crimea, only chaperoned by her sister. But he was done with waiting for her. She was finally going to be here. With him. Forever.

"Father is insisting on receiving her, so you can't just run off galavanting, doing whatever it is that you two do together." Itachi reminded him. "He's gotten all dressed up and everything.

His father had, he knew that already. It seemed a silly front. The man was dying. But there was something personally heartwarming about it. That his father still wanted to keep up with pomp and ceremony, for Hinata. As his health had deteriorated, he seemed to be more and more accepting of Sasuke's upcoming marriage.

"There she is." Sasuke felt his body freeze, watching her exit the train car, her arm in her sisters.

His brother's fingers caught his coat. "You shouldn't go down there. It's not-"

Sasuke ripped his arm away. He didn't care about decorum or anything like that. Hinata had agreed. Hinata had come. He was going to greet her.

.

"This feels wrong."

Sasuke looked over at her, dressed in all black. She even wore a veil of black lace.

"Hinata,"

"Your father just died, Sasuke." She pressed, whispering quietly so no one else could here. "It's too soon."

"That's precisely why we have to do it now. The people need their leaders. They need a King." He grabbed her hand, balled up in her lap, unfurling it to lace into his own. "They need a Queen."

His father had been pronounced dead that morning. Sasuke would be confirmed the Tsar of all of Russia that evening. The next day Hinata would be accepted into the Russian Orthodox Church. Sasuke had personally made sure that she wouldn't have to repudiate her former faith.

His father's body would be taken to Moscow to be honored at the Kremlin, then to St Petersburg where it would be laid to rest.

One weeks after that, they would be married.

Sasuke rubbed the back of her hand gently, pulling it closer to kiss it. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise."

.

She was beautiful that day. Her dress white and laced with gold. His hand in hers. She looked up to him nervously, when it came time for her to repeat her words in Russian. Sasuke nodded, giving her a little smile. They had practiced. He knew she could do it.

Her words were so soft. Unsure. An adorable, thick accent. She looked back to him, he could see her doubt.

He couldn't let her ever feel that again.

He acted proper enough during the ceremony and the party after. Hinata smiled, comfortable in easier conversation and a more relaxed atmosphere, which was hard to have in a royal wedding, but Sasuke could navigate her from conversation to conversation, spacing them out. Giving her a break. Encouraging her on. She relaxed easily, giving him soft smiles, there hands lacing together here and there.

Sasuke, as always had a count down clock in his head. The count down used to be when he would see her again. From the first time he had met her in St Petersburg, for some wedding, he had thought he loved her then. But it wasn't until she came back five years later that he really did. That he really knew for sure. That he had to have her.

Ever since then, trying to get his father to approve. Trying to get her to agree. To convert and jump through all those silly hoops that he had to go through. He had almost thought it would never happen.

But here they were.

"You're going to tear my dress." She giggled, walking away from him, deeper into the room.

Sasuke refused to let go, his fingers digging in to the white fabric.

He had waited so, so long. He had kissed her before. Held her as close to him as he could, behind bookshelves or ducking into empty rooms. He remembered his brother's joke 'whatever it is you too do together'. It wasn't enough. He had been waiting for this moment.

His hands were hasty in undoing all those individually sews on buttons, pulling the fabric down roughly.

"Hold on, their's pins in there."

He didn't listen. Kept tugging, beads and lace popped off in some areas and he kept going, unbothered. Someone else could fix that later.

He pulled her out of the pooled fabric, making her stumble. She was still in her heels and tall white stockings all the way up to her mid thigh. Besides that, the only thing covering her body was a thin silk slip. So small it was almost translucent.

He touched her body before. Over her clothes. As much as she had let him. He had taken whatever she gave and kept the memories of it, to hold him over when they were apart.

But this. He never even could've imagined this. Her chest was generous, the swell of her chest rounding below her collar bone, perky and heavy at the same time. Her waist narrowed in, and then flared out around her bottom which was just as well endowed.

Her face looked flushed, more than embarrassed, mortified. She couldn't even meet his eyes.

"Hinata," He grabbed her around the waist, pulling her flush against his body. "Hinata." He tried to coax, but her gaze stayed glued to his chest.

He pushed her further back into the room, until the back of her knees hit the frame of the bed. She sucked in a breath as he bent her back, leading more then pushing her onto the bed. His hand grabbed onto her thigh, letting it run up, over the curve of her bottom, onto her hip, dragging up the material of the slip.

He kissed down her cheek, over her hear, down her neck, her jaw, her mouth. "Hinata,"

Her fingers curved in the material of his jacket sleeves, pulling him closer. Her lips firmed more into his, pressing her face into his, deepening their kiss. "Sasuke-" She gasped as his hands found her breasts.

.

"A girl is bad luck." His brother smirked.

Sasuke knew it was just a joke but his hackles raised immediately. "It's fifty-fifty odds, jack ass." He brushed his black hair back, descending the stairs towards his bedroom.

"You are aware that you will need to have a boy someday?" His brother laughed after him.

Sasuke flipped him off, walking further down to him and his wife's private rooms.

His wife. Hinata was his wife. And now she was his daughters mother.

Hinata was exactly where he had left her this morning, in a white cotton night gown, laying in bed, cradling their new baby.

"Stop hogging her. You had her all day." Sasuke shrugged off his coat, sliding into bed next to her with his clothes still on.

Hinata beamed at him, laughing. "Not even. People have been in here all morning. They'll come back soon too."

It was to be expected. Nurses and maids and anyone else that was available to help was directed to do so.

He liked it when him and Hinata were alone. She was much more animated. Comfortable with him. He felt the best when he was with her too. She never demanded too much of him, loved him as is.

"They're mad he's not a boy."

Sasuke looked up quickly at her, making sure she wasn't upset. She had been a little more delicate since the birth of their daughter, but she wasn't upset. She was staring down at their daughter with the same sparkle in her eyes that she always had for her.

"Yeah, well, they're all being dramatic. You're twenty-three. You're hardly running out of time." Sasuke tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I love you." He promised.

.

Their coronation had been beautiful. She was beautiful.

But what happened after was a reminder of a more haunting reality.

The people had gathered in the fields outside of the cathedral to celebrate, and an unfortunate stampede occurred, killing over a thousand in attendance.

Festivities of course had been stopped. Hinata herself had taken it rather hard, and retired by herself with their daughter.

"You must go to that ball tonight Sasuke." His brother urge.

"I've already said I wouldn't go." Hinata was in no shape to attend.

"You cannot afford to offend the French. Visit the wounded, offer to pay for their burials. But you must go to that Ball."

Sasuke glared at his brother before going to find his wife. He knew that his brother was right. But it felt heartless. Especially for Hinata's whose heart was so pure and delicate to begin with.

"Hinata," Sasuke approached her quietly.

She sniffed quickly, wiping her eyes, trying to steady her breath. She held their daughter so close, like she was afraid Sasuke was going to take her away. Instead, he sat next to her, pulling her close, kissing her damp cheeks.

"Sunny," He whispered, affectionately into her ear. "Sweetheart. We need to go to that ball tonight."

Her shook her head quickly, tears pooling over onto her cheeks.

"I know." He whispered, rubbing down her arm. "I know. But I have to. And, I need you to come with me."

She blinked, quietly in silence for awhile, looking at his chest, his uniform, the colors, patches the tassels. She looked up to his face, taking him in.

He was not just her husband. He was a king. The Tsar.

Despite some of his decisions in the past, he could not have everything he wanted. He had a duty to something bigger than her.

She choked down a quiet sob, nodding through her cries.

"Shhh," Sasuke pulled her gently into his chest. "Thank you." He kissed the top of her head.

.

"It's another girl."

Sasuke's teeth ground down together. He knew it wasn't Hinata's fault. That there was nothing really to be done about it. A baby was a baby. That was that.

But it was his fourth daughter. In a row. No boy in sight.

"I'm going for a walk." He breathed, taking his leave abruptly.

He wasn't trying to be an asshole. He wasn't going to even let Hinata get a hint of his displeasure. Which was why the walk was needed.

The outside air was cold, just the beginning of spring. He only walked for a few minutes before returning inside and seeking out his wife.

His face was not schooled into his regular, pleasant expression. Well, regular for his wife. His advisors could kiss his ass.

Hinata on the other hand -

"Sunny, why are you crying?" Sasuke asked her gently, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry." Her breathing shook as she tried to cover her face, away from him.

"Hinata, stop." He tried to sound firmer. Stronger. For her.

"I can't do anything right. I can't talk right. I don't eat the right things. I don't dance the right way. They already hate me enough," She coughed, her voice cracking as she continued to cry.

Sasuke knew how the people felt about her. Knew what they thought, that she was haughty and rude. They didn't understand her. Didn't know her like he did. They didn't know how hard she tried. How much her shyness crippled her. Didn't know how hard she tried to learn Russian. Didn't know how much she missed her home.

Didn't know how much she blamed herself for not having a son.

"Come here." Sasuke pulled her into his arms, cradling her close.

He didn't know what else to do to console her. Didn't know what to say. He could only show her that he loved her. That he was there for her.

"Where is our new Princess?" He whispered, quietly in her ear.

"She's getting a bath." Hinata hugged her face deeper into his chest. "She'll be back soon."

"Good." Rested his head on top of hers. "Can't wait to see her."

.

Tsarevich. That's all the people called him. His son. Four daughters, and a son. He wasn't sure if the wait had made his love stronger, but he loved his son more than he thought he could love one of his children.

That didn't even hold a candle to how much Hinata loved heir baby boy. "Sunbeam." She had nicknamed him. He preferred that to Tsarevich.

Their son.

He watched all four of his daughters crowed around his wife to see their baby brother.

He had never felt so happy. To be there, with is wife, with his children. He had finally had the child that his country needed. They could be left alone now. To just love each other like a real family.

Sasuke watched his wife, holding their little Sunbeam in her arms. Yes, he loved his son more than he thought he could.

But still, not as much as her.

.

"It's my fault." He heard her whisper.

"No, it's not." Sasuke yawned, already tired of the conversation.

"He's sick." She pressed. "He's sick from me."

"Babies get sick, Hinata." He reminded her. Their daughters had gotten colds now and then.

"This is different." She pressed.

Hinata had further isolated herself since their sons birth. She rarely left him or their daughters alone, and most certainly she didn't spend any time with the other women of the court.

Her public image was getting worse.

Usually, Sasuke wouldn't have a care in the world about that. But things were changing in Russia. Things that didn't bode well for his family or his rule.

He couldn't imagine what would happen if his son died. Not only for himself and his wife, but to everything.

"He's going to be fine." Sasuke tried to speak with finality. He had to be fine. "Maybe you should take him out more? Get some fresh air."

She turned away from him, frowning.

He grabbed onto her hand, pulling her back to him.

No matter what, he would never let anything pull them apart. Not public opinion, not anyones opinion. He loved his wife more than anything.

"The girls would love play outside." He encouraged.

She nodded, slightly, still looking away, off into the distance.

He grabbed her cheek in his hands, cradling her, kissing her firmly on the lips. "Don't be so gloomy, Sunny. Everything is going to be fine."

.

Watching his family transform when his son was well was something amazing to him. Everyone doted on their son, grating him his every whim and wish. His daughters waited around after lessons, just to play with him.

But what Sasuke loved the most, was having his wife back.

She had taken his disease personally, having it come from her side of the family. She kept this health as her first and only priority. She nearly lost her mind every time his health dipped, feeling like she was personally responsible for his sickness.

He couldn't reason with her. He just had to let her work through it herself. Which took a toll while their son was ill. But when he was well…

He saw her smile again. He saw her laugh again.

"I love you." He tried to tell her often, anytime they were alone. "I love you." He need her to remember. Remember when the bad times came back and her sadness and worry drove her sick and took her away from him.

"I love you Hinata."

"I love you too." She promised.

.

His mother sat across from him at his desk. "Your wife is a problem Sasuke."

"I'm not having this conversation with you." Sasuke stared back at her blankly.

"She's addicted to opiates."

"She's in pain." Sasuke snapped. "You take medicine when you're in pain."

"Her pain comes from her mind." His mother insisted, leaning forward. "She's not handling the Princes illness."

"What are you talking about? She's taking care of him single handedly. She's taking care of all of them."

It wasn't normal in Russian Court. Sasuke himself had been raised by many different nannies.

When their daughters were younger, Hinata had accepted some assistance. But since his sons illness…

"That is precisely my point. She's causing her own madness and this war," She pressed her finger pointedly on his papers. "This German war does not bode well for your German Queen."

Sasuke stared back at his mother coldly. "She is the Tsarina."

"She will not be for long if she doesn't change."

"You are my mother. I honor you as such, and as the Dowager Empress." Sasuke promised her. "But I won't tolerate you talking of my wife in this manner."

Mother and son stared at each other, separated over a vast distance.

"We are headed down a dangerous path." Mikoto whispered, almost as a confession.

Sasuke already knew. He just couldn't tell her that she was right.

.

"I have to join the soldiers." Sasuke whispered to her in the dark. "At the front."

He could feel her freeze. Her breathing stop. Sasuke grabbed her shoulder, turning her over in the bed, pulling her closer to him. She was silent, like the winters death.

"I have to." He pressed. Needing her to understand that he didn't want to leave her alone there. He knew how hard it was going to be for her.

But he still had to go.

"Please," She choked, in a breathy whisper against his shoulder.

"I have to protect us Hinata."

Finally, her body responded. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer, the flat of her palms on the muscles of his back.

"I can't do it without you."

He knew that she couldn't. She didn't have the connections. She didn't have the faith of the people. Nor their love.

But what was happening outside their walls had grown too large. Too large to ignore any longer. Things were spinning out of his control.

He had to do this. Even though he knew what it would do to her. She had to know that the good out weighed the bad.

"It's the only way to protect us."

She closed her eyes, tucking herself under his chin, choking a sob. He closed his eyes, hollering her tight, trying to remember what she felt like against him. He would miss her. He would miss her so much.

.

"The palace is lost Sasuke."

It was childish. Like he was a little boy throwing a fit. His desk upending. The crack of the wood, spitting as it landed incorrectly. Papers and glass skittered all over the floor.

His brother didn't even blink. "We need to fall back. Join the blockade on the western side. It'll be adequate protection for you-"

"No."

"Sasuke, you cannot join them. It's a death sentence."

He closed his eyes, trying to stop himself from stopping each leftover piece of the desk to dust.

The palace guards had protected his family house through riot after riot. But they couldn't protect themselves against treachery. Turn coats. Donning the handkerchiefs, going from safe guards to prison guards.

But was it really treachery? This war, the rise of the communist party, the food shortages. Had he, their King, their Tsar, their ruler not betrayed them first? It was his job to make sure that his people were taken care of. He was the one that had failed. Betrayed them.

"Sasuke, please, as my little brother, please don't do this. Please save yourself."

He could hear the pain in Itachi's voice. He loved his brother. Loved his as much as one could love their older brother. Their best friend. Their protecter.

But he didn't love him as much as Hinata. As much as his family.

"I'm going to them."

.

Sasuke brought their children into his bedroom, where Hinata was resting on a chaise. If his mother thought her health was deteriorating before, she would be shocked to see his wife then.

He sat down next to her gently, not wanting to disturb her body that ached often.

Their five children gathered around them. Hinata smiled gently, petting down one of their daughters heads.

"We're going to stay at the Ipatiev House." Sasuke told them. Like they were going to Kiev, to swim in the Black Sea.

"In Yekaterinberg?" His oldest asked, her voice quiet, her eyes moving from her mother to her father. Scared. Knowing a little more what that meant than the younger ones.

"Are the Bolsheviks going to hurt us?" His son asked, looking up at them. Or maybe they all knew a little more than they wanted them to.

Sasuke could not answer. Not to them, at least.

"Sweetheart." He watched Hinata grab his sons face, affectionately. "They're going to escort us. To keep us safe. From the riots."

A lie so loud it resounded in his ears.

All of their children look at them, unsure. Hinata grabbed Sasuke's hand, linking their fingers. "Everything's going to be all right." She promised.

Sasuke hardened his jaw, looking away from them, squeezing Hinata's hand in his.

.

They were awoken in the dead of night.

"What's happening?" Hinata begged.

"Shh, just listen." Sasuke tried to reason with her.

They all dressed, following the soldiers commands. "Why are we going to the basement?" His daughter asked, clasping his hand in her smaller one.

Sasuke didn't reply.

They could hear the encroaching reinforcements. Loyalists. Fighting through the lines, to liberate them.

A fools errand.

"They're coming for us, Papa?"

Sasuke couldn't answer. Couldn't lie to his children. Couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Of course." Hinata promised. For him.

She had always been the most perfect mother. Sasuke could feel his chest tightening. He needed to act normal. Needed to keep his wits about him.

"Are we just going to stand down here all night?" His youngest daughter complained, leaning against his legs.

He watched silently, as more men filed into the basement.

He heard Hinata gasp as she finally saw their guns. Lining up one by one. Firing squad.

"No, no, please!" She begged grabbing onto the children closest to her.

Sasuke watched, his heart breaking for her.

His entire life had come to this. To his families death. His decisions, and his alone had caused this.

He swallowed hard, hearing them ready to fire. Hearing their count.

He grabbed Hinata hard, yanking her arm towards him. She had to know. He had to make sure she knew.

He didn't regret her. Didn't regret his decision to marry her. "I love you Sunny." He promised her, watching her shake in fear, screaming, trying to reach back for their children.

He loved that she loved their children. He loved everything about her so much.

"I love you Hina-"


	4. Bridesmaids

The bridal shower was supposed to be over at 2:30. It was well past 4:00 when he had to park down the block because there were still cars filling his driveway.

He thought about maybe going back to Naruto's. A house full of women wasn't really his cup of tea.

But, there was one women in there that he hadn't seen in a couple hours, whom he really liked spending his time with. Plus, who knows, maybe once he got there, the other stragglers would disperse. Then he and Hinata could to see a movie and get dinner or something.

Ino had come over at 9:00 that morning, filling his house with stupid shit like balloons and streamers and little 'Uchiha Wedding' stickers. All of it was still up, the front door still unlocked. Not as many shoes were left at the front door, but still more than what he wanted. The front room had been well used, almost all of the chairs were rearranged in a little circle. Tissue paper, bows, empty boxes and bags were strewn about. Paper plates with half eaten cookies and fruit with little plastic mimosa cups were still left on side tables and the coffee table.

Dinner and a movie we're clearly nixed, at least until his house was cleaned.

He walked further into the house, listening to the sound of quiet chattering and laughter. He first saw the kitchen table, completely full of boxes. New dish sets, a Vitamix, a embroidered blanket. The sheer volume was giving him a headache.

The whole point of a bridal shower seemed really outdated. They didn't need all these things to fill their newlywed house with. They already had a fucking house. Full of stuff. They bought it together more than two years ago. Before they even got engaged. This kind of old fashioned party seemed obsolete, but he wasn't going to say no to Hinata. Though he was surprised that Ino managed to talk her into having any party, their engagement party had been like pulling teeth. But once Hinata agreed, we'll, that was that.

It was just Ino, Hinata and her little sister in the kitchen, leaning on the counter talking quietly about something. The sink was full of dirty, crystal serving trays, pitchers and utensils. There were gallon zip locks and Tupperware containers half filled of left over food.

So dinner was out anyways, even if he got the place cleaned. They had quite a bit of leftovers to work through, it seemed.

"So, the party was a success?"

Hinata turned immediately to him, beaming.

"Hell yes it was." Ino flipped her bangs.

"I saved you a plate of food." Hinata walked over to the fridge, pulling out a plastic wrapped plate.

Most of the food he saw being prepared when he was being ushered out of the house by Ino were not up his alley. But, of course, Hinata would know that. It looked like tiny little tea sandwiches, mini garlic bread bruschetta and little pesto tortellini. She handed him the plate and placed her hand on his shoulder, pulling him down softly to give him a quick kiss.

She was still in a little white dress with cap sleeves, but her heels had been discarded, leaving her at her normal height. Which was much shorter than his.

"Did you have fun with Naruto?" She asked, slipping his arm around her so she could lean into him.

Sasuke shrugged, nodding, trying to get a piece of bruschetta out of the plastic. Hinata let go of him, doing away with the cover, balling it up and throwing it away. The trash can was out of its place, under the sink, probably so they could throw things away faster.

"Did he cheat again?" She asked, tucking herself back into his side.

"Naruto cheats at golf?" Ino snorted.

Going golfing felt pretentious, and made him feel like he was old as hell. Middle aged or something. Getting married also made him feel a little older than normal but also had all the warm and fuzzy feelings of being with Hinata forever. Golf didn't have shit like that. It just made him feel like someone cartoon villain, or like a Republican. Same thing.

"Well, he's an idiot." Hanabi sniffed, bagging up an entire gallon bag of cookies.

He was. But Hanabi's comment was a lot more tied to the deep bindings of a sister that could never forget a slight against her blood. Naruto's insensitive treatment of Hinata's feelings when they were children had been easily forgiven by the one snubbed, but no so by the younger sister.

Sasuke nodded with her anyways.

"Did he crash the golf cart again?" Ino giggled.

"I didn't let him drive it." Sasuke took a bite of the bruschetta.

"Is it good?" Hinata asked, looking up at him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"You made it?"

She nodded.

He finished his piece, before kissing her forehead. "I'm going to go clean up the living room."

She let her bottom lip fall into a little pout but she nodded her head, letting go of him. "We'll finish up in here."

Hanabi and Ino had gotten pretty silent in the kitchen as they both fell back into the thing her friends always did, which was sit silently and watch in sheer chumminess sending each other the 'Can you believe they are this fucking cute?' glances back and fourth, just observing the couple.

But as Sasuke was taking his leave, letting go of his fiancé and grabbing a brand new trash bag, Ino broached the conversation again. "Aye, when are you taking us girls golfing again?"

Instead of answering he just scoffed.

Hinata smiled. "We're still grounded from last time."

Ino giggled. "Oh get over it tight ass, we didn't put that much vodka in the Arnold-Palmers."

Sasuke didn't reply.

The living room really wasn't that bad. The plates and cups and discarded present wrappings were all disposable. Though he suspected that Hinata or one of her friends would perhaps want to save some of the bags, he threw them away. The trash bag was black, they wouldn't see it and probably wouldn't notice.

After clearing off the dining table, he started relocating the dining chairs.

He heard the rush of water and the sink down the hallway. He didn't know who it was but it did make sense, there were more cars in the driveway than just Hanabi's and Ino's.

What he wasn't prepared for, was Sakura Haruno the one venturing back down his hallway, wiping down her hands on a plain pink dress.

They both froze, awkwardly upon seeing each other.

"Oh, um, hey Sasuke. You're back." She laughed a little, trying to smile lightly.

Yeah... it was his house.

"Cleaning up?" She probed.

He lifted the trash bag lightly in response.

The creek on the floor caught both of their attention.

Hanabi Hyuuga. The smaller, louder, Hyuuga sister. The one that wore bright colors and jewelry and smiled a lot and laughed really loud. She wasn't smiling or laughing right now. She was glaring both of them down like she would actually murder them, and in truth, Sasuke wouldn't put it past her. Not about this.

Sakura ducked her head a little and scurried back into the kitchen. Which would've been kind of pathetic if Sasuke himself also didn't look away and immediately go back to cleaning up the trash. He felt like a little kid that just got caught talking to the one kid in class he wasn't supposed to talk to, like the teacher had separated them on purpose in hopes to stop disrupting everyone else.

Yes, he was a grown fucking man. Yes, this was his fucking house.

And he was still, head ducked, eyes on the ground, throwing away empty boxes and tissue paper.

He could see the bottom of her heels, standing there and watching him for a moment longer, like she was daring him to say something, before turning back into the kitchen.

He signed, letting out a breathe, before continuing on.

He managed to rearrange the dinning room and living room back to order. Trash and miscellaneous pieces collected and thrown out. He found a purse that was probably Ino's and set it by the front door. He took the bags out to the trash can in the garage before returning back into he den of wolves. His kitchen.

The counters were cleared off, or mostly so. All the girls were at the table, the presents were still there, but certainly a smaller pile. Hinata beamed up at him from her spot at the table.

"Need help out there?" Her smile was soft, her lips had been glossed and shiny.

He shook his head. "I got it all."

Her smile lifted even more, eventuating the apples of her cheeks. "Thank you so much."

He shrugged off her praises, stepping over to her. "What's this?" He leaned one arm on the back of her chair, looking over her head at what she had been working on.

"Thank you notes." She held up the one that she had personally been working on.

Of course Hinata would make handmade 'thank you' notes to every person that attended.

"We're almost done. Then we need to get some stamps. I think we're out." She set the note back down, and slid it into the small envelope. "I looked in your office and couldn't find any."

He nodded. He had run out of them on Friday and had decided to wait until Monday. He had tried to make more of an effort on cutting back his work on the weekends. "I can grab some tomorrow." He promised.

"Oh, Sasuke, you should get those cute little wedding ones they have. Or the heart ones." Ino gushed.

Well, he couldn't use those for work. But Hinata's nose wrinkled with her smile and he knew he would be picking up two different sets of stamps.

"What are we doing with all this?" He nodded at the boxes on the table.

"They're your gifts!" Hanabi gasped.

Ino nodded, smiling proudly. "You guys got so much good stuff."

Hinata grabbed her drink of what looked like orange juice and hid her look in a long drink. He knew he would probably be dropping off quite a few boxes at Good Will on his way to work tomorrow. He put his hand on Hinata's shoulder lightly, squeezing lightly, letting his thumb rub into her muscles. She set down her drink, letting her head touch onto his arm.

"We should probably get going." Hanabi smiled, standing up from the table.

Thank fucking god, at least she was good for something.

"I'll drive Ino home, Hina." Sakura stood from the table. "We can come over later and get her car."

"Cheers to that." Ino laughed, finishing off her not-so-orange juice flute.

Sasuke moved back so Hinata could get up and follow her friends and sister out into the living room near the door. He stayed in the kitchen. His plate of saved food had been left out for him. He leaned onto the now leaned counter, taking another bite of the bruschetta. It was one of his favorites.

He heard the girls talking and laughing and saying goodbye.

Hinata came in after the door closed a couple times. She grabbed her flute glass and again approached Sasuke, tucking herself into him.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked wrapping her arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm.

She nodded, taking another sip. "I did."

"How many mimosas did you drink?"

She smiled, taking another sip, not telling.

"I see." He smirked.

She let out a little giggle, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you so much for helping us clean up."

"Of course." He kissed the top of her head. "Did you get anything good?"

She nodded, smiling. "Yeah, Tenten painted me some wine glasses and they're so cute." She moved away from him, walking over the the cabinet that usually held their glassware. She opened one of the doors and waved him over.

"Hm," He replied.

They were painted wine glasses. Painted as women? Looking at the one, pained mostly white with Hinata's black hair and bangs put it more into perspective. They were painted as each person of the bridal party.

"Is that what your dress actually looks like?"

She looked at him pointedly. Another, stupid tradition he didn't think needed to be continued. The secrecy of the wedding dress.

Even if he thought the gift was kind of stupid, he had to admit that Tenten had some talent. She was constantly hand making things, and she did have a knack for it. Hinata's likeness was pretty spot on. Hanabi's, Ino's, Temari's, Tenten's herself... and Sakura.

"Hinata," He looked at her, watching her shut the cabinet.

"Yes?" She turned back to him smiling.

Sasuke was not usually uneasy around Hinata. At least, not anymore. She was a peace in his life, which was why he was marrying her. But - he did feel uneasy. Uneasy about what was bothering him, and how broaching the subject would make Hinata feel.

"Do you think its a good idea to have Sakura in the wedding?"

Hinata blinked. "Sakura's my friend."

"Yes, I know. But she's also my ex-girlfriend."

Hinata frowned a little. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No." Sasuke frowned, looking away. "I just think, that other people-"

"Sasuke," She interrupted him, grabbing onto his arm, pulling him in close again. "What's wrong?"

He had miscalculated and Hinata looked nervous. Maybe she thought he was rethinking things. He wasn't.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just our wedding and I want it to be perfect for you." Yes, he wanted to marry Hinata, but the wedding was solely her's. He wished they could fly to some far off place and just get married, the two of them. So if they were having a wedding, he wanted to make sure it was the exact wedding that Hinata wanted.

"Sakura is one of my best friends. I want her to be one of my bridesmaids."

Okay. That was fair. But...

"You guys broke up a long time ago." She continued.

"I know."

"You don't love her anymore."

She was right. "I don't." He agreed.

"She doesn't love you."

He nodded. "That's correct."

"And Naruto is your best man."

Sasuke paused. "Naruto doesn't have anything to do with this."

She smiled, almost gently. "Sasuke..."

"It's not the same. You guys were never together."

"Sasuke," she smiled gently, pulling him close.

Okay. Fine. Yes, Hinata had been in love with Naruto. But they had never dated. They were never together. Sakura had actually been his girlfriend. He had kissed her. He had done more than just kissing with her. Hinata had a crush on his best friend they weren't the same.

"I don't love Naruto anymore." He already knew that. "And you don't love Sakura."

He nodded.

"But I love Sakura. And I want her to be there on my wedding day."

He leaned back, looking at her. Her face was so soft and open. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, kissing her forehead.

"I understand."

She smiled, leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

"But tell your sister to stop glaring at me when Sakura says 'hi' to me."

She closed her eyes, giggling, resting her head against his chest. "Okay, I will."

He held her close for a few minutes, just savoring the moment.

"Did you still want to go see a movie? Maybe get dinner?"

Sasuke looked over at his saved plate of food. They could just rewrap it.

"Yes." She smiled. "But you have to drive."


End file.
